


like the blue whales, we'll swim someday

by sysupportgroup



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Coming of Age, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, M/M, Minor, Minor Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Mutual Pining, Rival Relationship, Screenplay/Script Format, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24998551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sysupportgroup/pseuds/sysupportgroup
Summary: Seokmin stars in his own coming of age movie, featuring:1. The importance of toilet paper2. Friendship is stored in the Ministop™3. Unrequited love and the pursuit of perfection4. My Ear’s Candy.mp35. Boo Seungkwan: a rival, a friend, a lover.or,Lee Seokmin and the Road to Growing Up
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 35
Kudos: 83
Collections: Enduring Dawn Round 1





	like the blue whales, we'll swim someday

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by seokmin's cover of blue whales by yb and exacerbated by the whole journey of youth concept 
> 
> thank you so much to the mods for their extension and patience for me deciding to re-format the previous version of this fic into the format it is here <33
> 
> my token of love for seokkwan, go forth be free !!! i hope you enjoy !!

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL BATHROOM - DAY

A pair of sneakers, worn to the bone and no longer white, show from under the stall door. A boy, LEE SEOKMIN (16, in his middle school uniform, distressed), is perched on the toilet seat, hunched into himself. Red-rimmed eyes and nose dripping, he’s been sitting there for awhile - there are no more tears left in his body. Nearly all the tissue paper in the stall is gone. 

Laughs grow louder from outside the hallway, the handle to the boy’s bathrooms rattles. Panicked yelp from the stall. Seokmin wipes his sleeve across his nose and stuffs the thick sleeve of his blazer in his mouth, feet curling up to the seat of the toilet. 

A group of boys tumble in. The sound of piss hitting the urinals. 

BOY 1

Jesus, that performance was insane.

(a pause. mockingly.)

Yah, are you still crying Byungwoo?

BOY 2

(defensive but still sniffing audibly)

I didn’t cry!

BOY 3

We all saw you though? What is this, sweat?

BOY 1

(sniggering)

Yeah, he sweated through his eyes the entire time.

Raucous laughter and teasing. Taps turn on, nearly covering up the conversation but not quite. Seokmin holds his breath, wishing for time to go faster. There’s no way he’s letting anyone see him like this. 

BOY 3

I heard he’s probably going to get scouted. There was someone from one of the big agencies in the audience. 

BOY 2

Wow, and here we all thought it was going to be Seokmin sunbae.

BOY 1

(disappointment lingering)

Oh Seokmin sunbae... He choked real bad. 

BOY 3

Yeah I was really looking forward to his stage. He usually kills it but… 

A moment of good-natured pity shared. Seokmin is well-liked by almost everyone in the school. Watching him crack his voice in two places onstage had the whole audience sympathy-wincing.

BOY 2

Kinda sucks, it’s his last year too... It would’ve been an all-kill if he won this year’s talent show. First to third year, can you imagine?

BOY 1 

Can’t be at the top forever. Seungkwan will probably take his place, he’s good enough. 

Shuffle of footsteps - the hand dryer turns on and off sporadically, accompanied by boyish cackles. They’re playing around with it. Seokmin draws his knees closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself like a cocoon. He fights to keep his breathing steady. 

BOY NO 1 (CONT’D)

(raising his voice to be heard above the dryer)

He’s in your class right, Dohyun? Seungkwan, that new Jeju kid?

BOY NO 3 

Yeah, he talks a lot. Think he’s going for class president or something.

BOY NO 2

Wow, he’s _really_ trying to replace Seokmin sunbae huh?

BOY’S VOICE NO 1

You think he can?

BOY NO 3

Dunno but I think Seungkwan can hit higher notes. He sang _Fate_ in the original key right?

BOY NO 2

(sniffs wetly)

BOY NO 1

(crowing)

Byungwoo’s crying again!

Teenage bickering as they file out of the bathroom, swinging door in their wake and a traumatised Seokmin still trapped in the stall. His phone vibrates and Seokmin pulls it out. It’s an old model, several cracks spider-webbed across the display. The lit-up screen shows five unread KakaoTalk messages from his sister:

ON SEOKMIN’S PHONE

> you did such a good job !!
> 
> really
> 
> yah, when are you going to come out?
> 
> seokmin-ah?
> 
> pick up your phone or i’m calling

BACK TO SEOKMIN

Seokmin scowls and shoves the phone into his pants pocket.

SEOKMIN

(bitterly)

‘Good job’ - what good job? 

Sighing sharply, he clenches his eyes tight and - _pah -_ slaps his own face. It’s crisp and sharp but still not enough. He hates disappointing his family, disappointing himself.

SEOKMIN (CONT’D)

(miserably)

All that _fucking_ practice and for what. 

Seokmin’s phone vibrates again - this time it’s a call. He pales and swallows hard. We see him physically rearrange himself to take the call, straightening up and pasting a fake smile on that’s completely at odds with the burning red handprint on his face:

SEOKMIN

(forcefully cheery)

Hi noona!

NOONA

Seokmin-ah! Where did you run off to? Mum, Dad, _halmeoni_ and I are waiting outside the gym for you - we’ve already told your homeroom teacher. 

SEOKMIN

Um, there’s just uh- uh- I’m in the green room. I’ll see you in a bit, are you sure you don’t want to go first? I don’t really feel like eating meat today…

NOONA

You? Don’t feel like eating meat? What’s wrong, you can tell noona? Have you been replaced by an alien? 

SEOKMIN

Noona! Nothing’s wrong, seriously! I just um… My stomach hurts? 

NOONA

(suspicious)

...your stomach hurts? Since when has that stopped you? It’s _galbi_.

SEOKMIN

(holds his stomach. the thought of eating right now is making him want to puke)

I think um, I might go to the school nurse. And lie down. Go eat meat without me, I know you can eat enough for the both of us. 

NOONA  
Yah, this brat! 

(more cautiously)

I’ll tell mum and dad - make sure you rest properly, okay? We’ll take you out again another time to celebrate, you sang _really_ well. Really well. I’m proud of you, we’re all proud of you.

Silence. A fresh stream of tears roll down Seokmin’s face.

NOONA

Seokmin-ah? Are you still there?

SEOKMIN

(squeakily, nose clogged)

_Thanks-noona-bye._

Seokmin hangs up quickly and rattles around in the toilet paper holder for more tissues to wipe his face and nose with until there’s nothing left. His snotty tissues litter the ground like grubby snow.

SEOKMIN

(chanting to himself)

Pull yourself together, pull yourself together, pull yourself together.

He sucks in a tired shaky breath and grits his teeth, resolved. He’s going to wash his face with cold water, go back out there and then hide in the nurse’s office for the rest of the day. Then he’ll practice twice as hard - three times as hard - until he can nail _Fate_ perfectly in its original key. He’s not sure if it’ll make him feel better but he feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t at least try. Until the day he can be _good_ , he’ll settle for good enough.

Psyching himself up, Seokmin swings his wrinkled blazer on again and pushes open the door of the stall. He beelines for the sink, turns the water as cold as he can get it and sticks his face straight into the stream, holding himself there like it’s a punishment.

Jiggle of the handle and the bathroom door creaks open. Seokmin can’t see who it is through the water in his eyes - he just hopes they’ll do their business and leave the boy quasi-drowning himself in peace. 

MYSTERY BATHROOM USER

Hello sunbaenim!

SEOKMIN

(grunts in acknowledgement - he can’t say much else right now)

A pause. Then the sound of the stall door swinging shut and locking. The rustle of pants, implicating _sploosh_ sounds follow.

Seokmin straightens up, face dripping. He wipes himself off with the bottom of his dress shirt and peers at himself in the mirror. The red has faded from his cheek and he feels marginally more like himself. He’d still burst into tears if someone looked at him the wrong way in the halls but at least he doesn’t feel like he’s about to split apart at the seams at any moment. 

In the background, the sound of a hand meeting an empty roll of toilet paper. Desperate trundle.

MYSTERY BATHROOM USER

U-um, sunbaenim? Are you - is there any spare toilet paper out there with you?

Seokmin startles, twinge of sympathy in his chest. He casts an eye around the bathroom - no spare rolls at his eye level.

He’s about to offer to go find some when:

MYSTERY BATHROOM USER

I’ll be eternally grateful if you could find me some, sunbaenim! I’ll do anything in return! Do you want to hear a song, maybe?

MYSTERY BATHROOM USER starts singing, overdramatic and purposely funny but it’s _Fate._ It dawns on Seokmin in full and terrifying horror, cinematic slowmotion, that it’s BOO SEUNGKWAN in there. Taunting him in his success and Seokmin’s failure. The world spins around him.

He can’t do this. 

He’s shaking all over when he turns tail and strides out of the bathroom, Seungkwan’s pleading yelp turned vicious cursing following his cowardice all the way to the nurse’s office. 

SEUNGKWAN

(spiteful)

Lee Seokmin, I’m going to _REMEMBER_ you!

* * *

INT. “MINISTOP” - LATE AFTERNOON

Seokmin (19, dressed in the usual uniform of logo-adorned ugly navy hat and impractical zip-tee) is in motion, moving quick as he tries to transport as many drinks as he can from the brown stock box to the fridge. The environment is important - he doesn’t want to waste cold air or the energy from the fridge. He hums a ballad, meant to be under his breath but volume control was never his expertise.

A few customers mill around the store. One passes by him and frowns at the noise, coughing pointedly. Seokmin whips around, nearly drops the bottles he’s holding and bows, deep. He shuts up and keeps working robotically, eyes cast on the ground. 

The motion-activated chime sounds - someone’s come into the shop. Seokmin has grown to hate the sound, he hears it in his nightmares, usually blaring like a siren in the background when dream-him gets told he’s failed _suneung -_ not just one subject, all of them. 

You’re mine forever, the Ministop building cackles with its fangs and bubbling-nuclear coffee machines, and then swallows him whole. 

A customer coughs behind him - they want to reach past him to grab a coke. Seokmin shakes himself out of his stupor and backs away muttering apologies, yanking his head out of the fridge and retreating with the empty box.

JIHOON

Seokmin, come here and take over the till!

SEOKMIN

Coming, boss!

Seokmin flattens the box carefully and jogs over to the counter with it to meet his manager, LEE JIHOON. He’s been trying to amass enough recyclable materials over the course of the day to show Jihoon it’s worth setting up a recycling bin outside their store. 

SEOKMIN

Look, it’s another one to add to the pile! I - 

There’s someone at the till, vaguely familiar but Seokmin can’t put a finger on him. He bends down to tuck the box with its siblings away behind the counter and breaks out his nice smile, the one with all the teeth.

SEOKMIN

Welcome to Ministop!

The customer blinks at him, shock then rage crossing his face, cheekbones popping out. 

CUSTOMER

You work here?

SEOKMIN

(looks down at his shirt, then back up.)

...yes?

CUSTOMER

(a noise like a squealing kettle, infuriated)

I - No. I can’t do this. 

The customer turns to Jihoon who’s watching the scene unfold with a lazy look of amusement on his face. 

CUSTOMER

I’m very sorry Jihoon-ssi, could I please have my resume back? I’m not interested in the position anymore. 

SEOKMIN

(hurt but still terribly confused. his brain is working overtime to try and place this face)

Because of me?

CUSTOMER

(eyebrows fly high)

 _Yes,_ because of you!

SEOKMIN

Have I even met you before - 

It hits him like a ten ton truck. Take Boo Seungkwan’s face from two years ago, minus some of the baby fat, add on longer hair and a murderous scowl. The breath is knocked out of him.

SEOKMIN (CONT’D)

(dripping dread)

...Boo Seungkwan?

Seungkwan scoffs, doesn’t deign to give him a glance. He turns himself onto Jihoon, smiling curt and polite as he reaches a hand out for his resume.

Jihoon lowers it out of reach from behind the counter, bastardous smirk deepening:

JIHOON

Too late, you’ve been hired.

SEUNGKWAN and SEOKMIN

(simultaneously)

...what?

JIHOON

We need to replace Hyunjin and no one else applied this week. 

(clicks tongue)

Whatever it is between the two of you, just be professional about it. I’m just a manager, I’m not paid to break up fights.

Jihoon tucks Seungkwan’s resume under his arm and gestures for Seungkwan to follow him to the back.

JIHOON

(fade out as he and Seungkwan disappear into the stockroom)

Okay, let’s get your roster sorted out. Can you do weekend shifts? How long?

Seokmin stares after them despondently. Bracing against the counter, he not-very-subtly screams into his hands.

That blasted chime. A customer who just walked in looks at him and walks right back out.

* * *

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE CHECKOUT - WEEKDAY - LATE AFTERNOON

Slats of late afternoon sun slide over the counter where Seokmin and Seungkwan are behind the two tills, hands working swift and robotic to ring up customers. It’s peak hour, all the aisles are full of students and office workers who have just finished class or gotten off work.

The Ministop chime sounds. Seokmin’s eye twitches but he suppresses it with a big smile.

SEOKMIN and SEUNGKWAN

(simultaneously)

Welcome to Ministop!

A bemused middle school girl blushes and avoids eye-contact with them, scurrying away to the furthest aisle.

Seungkwan not-so-accidentally digs his elbow into Seokmin’s side as his hands fly to bag pre-packaged sausages, string cheese and a chocolate bar. He grins sweetly at his customer, a tired-looking office lady, who at least tries to muster up an answering smile for him.

SEUNGKWAN

Way to scare her off.

SEOKMIN

(mutters childishly)

I did not! That was all you.

Seokmin finishes ringing up his own customer. The student doesn’t need a plastic bag and Seokmin takes his card payment with a _beep_ and a glowing smile that curves his eyes into happy crescents. He hands the singular can of coke over, brushing fingers with the customer who flusters and fumbles over a thank you before darting out. 

Seokmin and Seungkwan stare pensively after him. A lull - there’s no one left in the queue for now.

SEUNGKWAN

Don’t you think you’re being mean to him?

SEOKMIN

Why would you say that?

SEUNGKWAN

He’s come in here every single day for the last two weeks. If you didn’t notice, you’re crueler than I thought, Seokmin-ssi.

SEOKMIN

(defensively)

I’m not doing anything wrong - is smiling a crime now?

SEUNGKWAN

It is if you do it the way you’re doing it.

SEOKMIN

...I’m just doing my job. Returning customers are always good for business.

Seungkwan snorts dismissively and doesn’t bother to respond. 

SEOKMIN

Are you still mad at me over what happened in middle school? I _already_ apologised.

SEUNGKWAN

(primly)

I’m not mad, why would I be mad. 

He’s still mad.

Seokmin grits his teeth - if that’s the way he wants to play it, then fine. Seokmin has a terrible innate need to please other people but not when they’ve proven themselves to be this calibre of asshole. 

SEOKMIN

If you don’t like me that much, why don’t you just quit? One of my friends is looking for a part-time job, I bet Jihoon could replace you easy.

SEUNGKWAN

Hah, trying to get rid of me? No fucking way. I’m not quitting anytime soon.

SEOKMIN

(frustrated)

Why? You could work literally anywhere else - Lotteria always hires! That chicken place two blocks over needs more delivery people! There are literally five other convenience stores in this area!

SEUNGKWAN

(sharply)

What, you think I should work at those places instead because I like food? Because I’m fat?

SEOKMIN

(incredulous, jaw hinged wide open)

N-No? I would never - 

SEUNGKWAN

Ugh, save it.

(checks his watch pointedly)

Isn’t it time for you to knock off anyways? You can go first, I won’t tell Jihoon hyung.

Seokmin hardens his jaw. Under Seungkwan’s expectant disdain, he holds his ground and stays behind the till.

SEOKMIN

Actually, I’m going to work overtime. _You_ can go first.

SEUNGKWAN

(eyes narrowed)

...really? Because I know hyung _really_ loves knocking off work early - you left half an hour early last Monday, didn’t you?

SEOKMIN

Because my mum - !

Seokmin is ready to launch into a full defence of his character but in his periphery, he notices a customer coming towards them now. It’s the same middle schooler from earlier, a few indiscernible items clutched in hand as she dithers in the aisle, eyes darting between both their empty counters.

Seokmin waves cheerily at her, smiling deliberately warm and soft, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. Seungkwan makes a retching noise under his breath.

SEOKMIN

(overly-friendly)

Hi! Do you want this oppa to ring you up?

Seungkwan bites his lip hard, seeing a challenge in everything and nothing. He snaps his own sweet smile on and leans over the counter, waving her towards him encouragingly.

SEUNGKWAN

Ahh, you’re so pretty, I love your shoes! Are you on your way to _hagwon_? 

The girl hesitates and nods shyly. She takes a step closer to Seungkwan’s side of the counter.

SEOKMIN

(chiming in enthusiastically to cover his panic)

Oh? You’re in middle school? You’re so cute, let oppa ring you up, okay? 

(whispers conspiratorially) 

This oppa is more handsome than that guy over there right?

The girl flusters, stopping in her paces. It’s not everyday that convenience store part-timers flirt with her, even rarer that they’re fighting over her. She casts a bashful gaze at Seungkwan, pondering for a moment. She takes a step towards Seokmin.

  
Seokmin’s smile widens. Seungkwan’s drops, sudden and ugly, before he pulls it back up.

SEOKMIN

How was your day today - 

The girl giggles shyly and cuts her eyes away to Seungkwan instead, keeping her head down as she slides her items over.

Seokmin’s voice dies in his throat, jaw setting grim. He was so certain that he’d won. 

SEOKMIN

(putting on a whine, weaponised aegyo)

Is this oppa not good enough for you? Come on Seungkwan-ssi, let me do it for her instead.

He not so playfully bumps Seungkwan with his hip, crowding his till space so he can take over. He’s not usually this awful, but all the microaggressions over the last few months have really taken a toll on him.

A quick montage: snippy comments when he leaves before Seungkwan does, passive-aggressive reminders to tone down his volume when he’s humming to himself around the place, Seungkwan’s constant high-pitched medley of girl-group songs monopolising the audio system because Jihoon doesn’t care. 

He was bound to burst one way or another.

He reaches blindly for one of her items and runs it past the scanner, slipping it into a plastic bag. Seungkwan very deliberately steps on his foot and leaves his weight on it, smiling benignly even as Seokmin is hissing curses under his breath.

SEUNGKWAN

(gritted teeth)

Seokmin-ssi, you have your own till. And this lovely customer chose _me._

GIRL

A-ah… 

The girl crosses her arms, hands cupping her elbows. She did not sign up for this.

Seungkwan grabs for the next item, runs it past the scanner like it’s a marathon, whilst Seokmin’s arms try to worm their way past the gaps in defence to try and wring victory from the jaws of his perceived defeat. 

One of Seokmin’s flailing hands accidentally smacks Seungkwan in the face and the whole nice-guy facade is dropped. Seokmin gets treated to a murderous glare, eyes rounded and lips trembling in anger, and it’s enough to get him to pull away quickly.

Not quick enough. Slow motion as Seungkwan scrabbles for an item from the counter and pitches it straight at Seokmin’s head. Seokmin ducks, a feat worthy of a Marvel movie, and it - a pack of sanitary pads - sails right past to nail the incoming customer in the face. A wonder of cruel comedic timing.

The customer straightens up. Comedic timing turned tragedy - it’s Jihoon, face blank as he picks up the package from the floor and stalks towards the till. Seokmin mourns his death in advance, prays his family will give him a proper funeral.

Jihoon calmly collects the girl’s items from the counter, packing them nicely in an opaque plastic bag. He hands them to her, face still unchanging as he drops into a ninety degree bow. She takes it tentatively from his hand, looking like she regretted ever walking into the store.

JIHOON

On behalf of my employees, I deeply apologise for their unprofessional behaviour. Your purchases will come out of their salaries, please have a nice day.

Knowing a cue when she sees one, the girl scuttles out, probably bursting to tell her friends the story of Seokmin’s humiliation. He stares after her, dazed and already contemplating the savaging of his reputation amongst all middle schoolers in a kilometre’s radius.

JIHOON

You two are -

* * *

EXT. UNNAMED STREET - NIGHT

Two teenage boys, dressed in two different high-school uniforms, walk silently down a mildly busy footpath towards a train station in the distance. 

SEOKMIN

\- fired! I can’t believe he _fired_ us! I thought he liked us!

SEUNGKWAN

(sulkily)

I thought he liked _me_. I don’t know about you.

Seokmin throws up his hands and they come to a stop in the middle of the pathway. Strangers, just trying to get to their destination, shoot them a dirty look and curve around them.

SEOKMIN

Seriously, what is your problem with me?

(earnest)

I’ll fix it, I swear. I’m done being all… this! I don’t like being angry with people okay? And I don’t like people being angry with me. What do you want me to do? Apologise? I’ve done that but I can write it too if you like. Do you want me to get on my knees and bow? I can do that - 

Seokmin begins sinking to his knees, right there and then. 

Seungkwan’s arms shoot out to stop him, alarmed. It’s a stalemate, Seokmin’s body already halfway on the ground and Seungkwan’s reedy arms trying to keep him afloat. 

It’s a funny picture, the two of them make. 

SEUNGKWAN

Not that! I don’t want any of that, get up, oh my god, you’re embarrassing me.

Seokmin wrenches himself up from the ground and dusts himself off, frowning.

SEOKMIN

What do you want then? I just… I just want you to not hate me.

SEUNGKWAN

(dodging the question)

Why does it bother you whether I hate you or not? We’ll probably never see each other again.

SEOKMIN

I - I don’t know, it just does. It’s going to bug me if the last impression I leave on you is a bad one and it was… kinda my fault that we ended up getting fired.

SEUNGKWAN

(exasperated growl)

 _Oh my god, why_ \- why are you like this all the time? This is why you make me - ugh!

SEOKMIN

Like what?

SEUNGKWAN

(frustrated)

You’re just so - nice! Even when I kept trying to make you quit - 

SEOKMIN

(cutting in)

You were trying to make me _quit_?

SEUNGKWAN (CONT’D)

\- you just kept smiling! All the time! And then it made _me_ feel bad - which it shouldn’t because you were the one who stranded me in the bathroom in the first place - and I hated it! 

(mini scream)

Stop being nice!

SEOKMIN

(hurt)

...I’m not always nice. I tried to take your customer and hip-bumped you.

SEUNGKWAN

(worked up)

Good! You need to fight back for yourself! What are you gonna do, just let people steamroll over you forever?

Seokmin peers curiously at his enraged face, fascinated.

SEOKMIN

Do you maybe… care about me?

SEUNGKWAN

(blusters, falling back a few steps)

No!

SEOKMIN

(gasp)

...you do! You don’t hate me, not really!

SEUNGKWAN

(mulishly)

Yeah, well I tried really hard.

SEOKMIN

Awww, you do care!

A thousand bricks have been lifted from his chest. Seokmin grins once again, wide and free, practically skipping his way towards the station where they’ll both depart from and probably never encounter each other again.

Seungkwan stares balefully after him and after a short pause, follows grudgingly. He musters a small smile, the first genuine one that Seokmin has ever seen directed at him.

SEUNGKWAN  
Think whatever you want.

SEOKMIN

I will!

He cuts his eyes to Seungkwan and drinks in the ridiculous sight of the two of them traipsing down the street together in their different uniforms, Seokmin with his necktie sloppy and blazer rumpled, and Seungkwan with his prim and proper Windsor knot, fitted blazer and perfectly tied shoes. 

In another world, they might have been proper friends.

SEOKMIN

Hey can I ask you a question? Are you still a trainee?

Seungkwan makes an uncomfortable noise and looks off to the side, staring into the depths of a bus stop advertisement for McDonalds.

SEUNGKWAN

(shortly)

I quit.

SEOKMIN

(genuinely distressed)

Wha - How? Why? But you’re so _good_!

SEUNGKWAN

(snorts bitterly)

Good doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have the looks for it. I gave it up five months ago - I don’t think the trainee life is for me. I’m just going to meet Wonder Girls some other way.

SEOKMIN

Wonder Girls?

SEUNGKWAN

Don’t you know?

He breaks into a picture-perfect rendition of girl group choreography, singing his heart out to accompany his impromptu performance. The one lone salaryman sitting hunched over at the bus stop gives them a skeptical look and shuffles further away down the bench.

SEUNGKWAN

_I want nobody, nobody but you! Nobody nobody but you!_

He winks along with his finger guns, clearly meant to be silly, but Seokmin’s palms are sweaty all of a sudden. He’s not sure why, shakes them out and surreptitiously wipes them on his pants.

Seungkwan strides on towards the station in all its metro glory, haloed in its light, and Seokmin falls into step meekly.

SEUNGKWAN

Wonder Girls! The greatest idols of our generation!

SEOKMIN

...I’ll look them up when I get home.

SEUNGKWAN

You better.

(pause)

How… how is… Do you still sing?

Seokmin is startled into laughter, awkward as he clutches his bag closer to him, knuckles paling.

SEOKMIN

(evasively)

Uh, you know, it’s kinda hard these days. _Suneung_ this year and…

SEUNGKWAN

You should sing for me.

SEOKMIN

What?

SEUNGKWAN

Sing for me! I remember you were really good at the talent show - Blue Whale by YB-nim right?

SEOKMIN

(deflecting)  
Oh... I haven’t really sung in awhile. I won’t be any good! Also I haven’t warmed up my throat and - 

SEUNGKWAN

Pleaaaaaase? You said you’d do anything for me to not hate you - if you sing a little bit, I promise I won’t resent you anymore. 

(heavy on the guilt)

Even if you did leave me on the toilet for twenty minutes by myself.

SEOKMIN

I… 

(faltering)

You promise?

SEUNGKWAN

Pinky promise.

Seokmin looks left and right at the dregs of people still out on the streets and takes Seungkwan by the wrist, dragging him into a nearby alleyway.

He doesn’t remember all the lyrics - it’s been awhile - but the humiliation of cracking his voice onstage in front of everyone will never leave him. He chooses to avoid those parts, closing his eyes and sliding into an easy but trembling start to the chorus.

SEOKMIN

_When you are weary and tired on your journey_

_Please tell me, don’t keep it to yourself_

_Because you’re not alone_

It’s clear that he’s out of practice but his timbre is just as beautiful as it was three years ago, the emotions just as present. It’s clear he’s never quite let go of his love for singing, the way his voice cradles the notes like a newborn baby, sings pure and true. 

A cool hand - Seungkwan’s hand - comes up to cup Seokmin’s face, almost subconsciously. Seokmin trails off and cracks an eye open, hanging on the edge, waiting for approval.

SEUNGKWAN

(warmly)

There, that wasn’t so hard, right?

Seokmin makes a timid _eep_ sound and Seungkwan laughs - weird and pitchy - snatching his hand back and shoving it into his pocket.

SEUNGKWAN

(blurts)

Your voice is so beautiful, I wish I could sing like you. 

SEOKMIN

(nervous laughter)

No way, you won that year, remember? Everyone cried when you sang _Fate_!

SEUNGKWAN

Well _I_ cried when you sang _Blue Whale_. Doesn’t that count?

SEOKMIN

Yeah but my voice cracked - 

SEUNGKWAN

But your _emotions_. You feel so much when you sing Seokmin-ssi. That’s what I remembered your stage for. 

Seungkwan shrugs and gives Seokmin a half-smile, circling warm fingers around his wrist as he leads them back to the main street. The station looms up ahead, a reminder of an end-point.

SEUNGKWAN

I know I haven’t been super nice to you but you should think about it - getting back into singing again. You’re so good, it’d be a waste otherwise. 

SEOKMIN

...I’ll think about it.

SEUNGKWAN

Don’t just say that, actually think about it. Your talent could bring a lot of happiness to people.

SEOKMIN

Shouldn’t I tell you that too? Just because you’re not becoming an idol - 

SEUNGKWAN

(cutting Seokmin off)

\- I sing for my mum and sisters, that’s enough for me really.

The downturn grimace of Seungkwan’s mouth gives away the lie in that and Seokmin… Overcome, he hugs Seungkwan. Spontaneous and impulsive. 

Seungkwan stiffens in his arms at first but then relaxes into it, wrapping his own arms around Seokmin. They stand like that for a few seconds, soaking in the fragile chrysalis of their dreams.

SEOKMIN

(whispers earnestly)

No matter what that company told you, you’re handsome Boo Seungkwan-ssi. You and your voice are so pretty. Really.

A long pause. Seokmin doesn’t see but Seungkwan is blushing, blinking hard to get his heartbeat under control.

SEUNGKWAN

(smally)

...thank you.

* * *

INT. SAMGYUPSAL ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT RESTAURANT - DINNER

A bustling samgyupsal restaurant in Dongdaemun. In the back, a long table is stuffed to the brim with Seoul University’s male volleyball club, all in various states of sportswear and inebriation. Chairs are crammed to fit around the grills, some guys almost in someone else’s lap. In the group, many sport nasty bruises on their knees and legs, a couple are rubbing at their forearms and loudly complaining about drills as they swap shots of soju and chug cans of beer amidst the sizzle of pork belly. Seokmin (21, decked out in a headband and a mismatched track jacket and long basketball shorts) is in the mix of faces, laughing too-loud at someone’s bad joke whilst leaning heavily on his sunbae - YOON JEONGHAN’s - shoulder.

At the head of the table, closest to the outside, is the captain of the club, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL. He totters to his feet and clears his throat, holding out his can in a toast:

SEUNGCHEOL

Yah, yah, yah.

The table quiets down, all heads swing towards him.

SEUNGCHEOL (CONT’D)

A round to our new hoobaes! 

Fresh faces around the group fumble for another shot, another can of beer. When the captain says drink, you drink. Seokmin looks around the table lazily, he’s more immune to it now that he’s in his second year and risen through the ranks. 

SEUNGCHEOL

(satisfied)

Work hard and we’ll get to have more dinners like this, yeah? If we win the season, we’ll go have hanwoo.

Cheers and whoops. 

JEONGHAN

(sing-songs)

And will our captain be paying? It’s only worth it if our captain pays.

SEUNGCHEOL

Um - well -

A head pops out from the corner, wedged right between Seungcheol and Jeonghan. HONG JISOO, the team’s manager. His eyes gleam mischievously as he clucks his tongue, him and Jeonghan significantly more sober than the gaggle around him.

JISOO

We won’t have the budget for the university to cover it Cheol-ah… If you _really_ want them to work hard, a good captain should pay for it himself, right?

Seungcheol’s shoulders crumple and he nods defeatedly, slumping back down in his seat as Jisoo pats his shoulders comfortingly. 

The whole table goes up in a wave of cheers - more alcohol is exchanged around the table and calls for more rice, more meat are given to the exceedingly patient ahjumma running the place. 

In all the chaos, no one notices a first year cautiously making their way to the back of the restaurant, tapping one of their wing spikers - KWON SOONYOUNG’s - shoulder to be let into the circle. Soonyoung swings around wildly and lights up when he sees Seungkwan’s face, a cross between worried and annoyed.

SOONYOUNG

(slurring)

Kwan-ah! Where have you beeeeeeeen?

CLOSE-UP. At the side of the table and partially hidden by Jeonghan’s body, Seokmin perks up at the name, stomach churning with an emotion spanning anticipation and fear. Is it…? Could it be…?

SEUNGKWAN

Aish Kwon Soonyoung, you were the one who called me and made me go all the way back to yours to get a change of clothes. What’s wrong with what you have on? You made it sound like you were just wearing a trashbag.

Soonyoung puffs up, inappropriately outraged. He gestures at his tanktop and sport shorts set dramatically.

SOONYOUNG

(wailing)

This? How is _this_ okay? I can’t meet Wonwoo in this!

SEUNGKWAN

(rolling his eyes, mutters)

I think he’d appreciate it more than you think.

SOONYOUNG

Anyways, come sit! Yah, hyung, can we scooch over for my dongsaeng here? I told you about him right? You said free pass?

Seungcheol leans back in his chair, teetering dangerously, and squints at Seungkwan’s face. 

SEUNGCHEOL

...ah, _ah_! 

(realisation. he waggles his finger aggressively in Seungkwan’s direction)

This is your neighbourhood dongsaeng from that video you showed me right? The setter?

The samgyupsal ahjumma, bringing around another plate of meat for them, tsks at Seungcheol and forcefully rights his chair up. Seungcheol whines at her but she just pinches his cheek indulgently and he lets it go. 

SEUNGCHEOL

(leaning forwards on his elbows)

Ok, free pass, free pass! We need at least one ace up our sleeves - at least we'll have a jumping float to pull out. None of these guys are trying hard enough to pull it off consistently.

Complaints start up from the other end of the table but Seungcheol just waves them away, pushing the plate of raw meat towards Seungkwan.

SEUNGCHEOL

Your initiation is to grill this perfectly then. Since Soonyoungie and I have already approved of your skill, you’ve gotta be able to grill your hyungs some meat if you’re going to be in the team. Hopefully we’ll be eating way more of it in the future.

He high-fives Soonyoung and both of them cackle obnoxiously. In the shadows of Jeonghan’s body, Seokmin leans forward to observe. _He’s_ the grilling master around here. 

SEUNGKWAN

(confidently)

I won’t let you down captain!

Seungkwan reaches for the tongs and the meat, slapping it down where there’s a spare space on the grill. It sizzles immediately, spitting fat everywhere and Seungkwan yelps when it splatters his arm. In light of expectant looks though, he braves it with a big smile and slaps down the rest of the slabs. 

Seokmin keeps an eye on Seungkwan carefully, even through his clouded vision, despite the guys on his other side desperately trying to tug him into a game of 3-6-9. It must be him - there’s the same cheeks, the same rounded eyes, the same fragile overconfidence that Seokmin recognises in himself. He’s gotten even prettier over the last two years since they last spoke, messages over KakaoTalk phasing out as Seokmin got busier with preparations for _suneung_. 

He wonders if Seungkwan still sings. 

SOONYOUNG

(doubtfully)

Have you grilled before, Kwan-ah? 

SEUNGKWAN

(gritting teeth)

Yes I have, thanks hyung. Why don’t you get ready for your _date_ soon?

SOONYOUNG

It’s not a date!

SEUNGKWAN

Right… just two “friends” hanging out. In a date cafe. For dessert.

SOONYOUNG

We’re working on a project together!

JEONGHAN

Project Boyfriend?

JISOO

(slyly)

Studying anatomy?

Soonyoung splutters, slamming his hands down on the table and starting a drunken rant about how _pure_ his and Wonwoo’s friendship is - he’d never like him in a million years, never! 

Soonyoung’s rant FADES OUT in the background as Jisoo pitches forward in laughter, drawing Seungkwan’s attention. Insta-love. Jisoo catches him staring and tosses him a playful conspiratorial wink. Seungkwan nearly drops the tongs.

Seokmin chugs the remnants of his beer and reaches for another can, accidentally crumpling it slightly when he grips it a tad too hard.

On the grill, the meat burns.

SEUNGCHEOL

(wails despairingly, cutting into Seungkwan’s haze)

Ah! The samgyupsal!

SEUNGKWAN

A-ah!

Seungkwan tries to salvage it but it’s gone too far. Big RIP. 

SOONYOUNG

Ayy, Seokmin-ah, can you show him how to do it?

SEUNGKWAN

(sharply)

Seokmin?

SOONYOUNG

(caterwauling)

Sexyyyy man that grills meat! Lee Seokmin! 

Seokmin straightens up, wobbly on his feet as he grabs for another pair of tongs. He can see recognition snap into place on Seungkwan’s face, something he doesn’t want to think about too much right now. In this club, he’s known to his hyungs as the funny one. The sweet foolish one that can block balls decently well. Seungkwan is a fragment of his past; he'd rather not ruin his image. 

SEOKMIN

(hammy, wielding the tongs like a pincer)

Alright, let me show you how it’s done.

He goes through the usual routine: dancing from foot to foot, winking greasily at Soonyoung’s phone camera, flexing obligingly when Soonyoung calls for it with a whoop. All the whilst Seungkwan stares at him, unblinkingly. 

It’s more than a little unnerving, his performance is off and he can tell Soonyoung is disappointed when he puts his phone away in the end, but at least the meat is perfectly grilled. He cuts it up into smaller pieces, tending to them until the largest juiciest piece is cooked all the way through, gleaming with oil. He picks it up with the tongs and slides it onto Seungkwan’s plate with a little embarrassed smile, apologies for the antics. 

In the background, Soonyoung closes his mouth disappointedly.

SOONYOUNG

What about some for your hyungs too, huh?

SEOKMIN

Coming up, coming up!

He passes out the meat to the people around him as it’s cooked - Seungkwan, Soonyoung, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo. It’s an accident that almost feels like it was on purpose when he ends up giving Jisoo less.

SEOKMIN

(emanating warmth)

Welcome to the club, Seungkwan-ah. Eat up.

He takes the last piece and drops it on Seungkwan’s plate, swallowing down everything else he wants to say. 

* * *

INT. UNIVERSITY GYMNASIUM - EVENING

The sun has started to set outside the gymnasium, long fingers of gold stretching over the vinyl. In the court section, a volleyball net is set up, a cart of volleyballs set on the left side. There’s a line of boys, all extremely sweaty, lined up on the right side running drills. 

Seokmin is up next, bouncing nervously on his toes. Opposite him is Seungkwan behind the serving line, eyes narrowed. One, two, three - Seungkwan flies up. 

Palm connects straight to the ball, ball connects straight to the face.

Seokmin yelps and flies backwards, holding his nose in pain. A trickle of red shows through his fingers, a trail starting to track down his face. All intensity dropped, Seungkwan’s face is a picture of horror. He dashes over to Seokmin, nearly tipping over the cart of balls on his way.

Jeonghan is first on the scene, gently helping Seokmin to sit up.

JEONGHAN

(stressed)

Shua!

JISOO  
On it!

JEONGHAN

(frantically)

Hang on, just hang on, Shua is getting some ice for you, okay?

Seungkwan skids to a stop behind them, leaning in panicked. He takes Seokmin’s chin in hand and tilts his face towards him, worry pouring from every pore.

SEUNGKWAN

I am _so_ sorry hyung! I didn’t think - 

JEONGHAN

(snaps)

Didn’t think, that sounds about right. Underhand serves, Seungkwan. _Underhand serves_. This isn’t about you.

Seungkwan flinches but takes it. Knows he’s got no leg to stand on here. 

Under his careful hands, Seokmin relaxes minutely into Seungkwan’s grip. He swallows, hard, when Seungkwan leans in close to assess the damage. 

SEOKMIN

(de-escalating nervously)

…’m fine, hyung. It’s not like it’s never happened before. 

JEONGHAN

Not to _you._

(looking over his shoulder)

Shua! How long with the ice and tissues?

JISOO

Coming!

Jisoo - clutching a bag of ice, an entire first aid kit and a mega box of tissues - speeds up as he jogs back to their group. Seungcheol accompanies him, frown knotting up his brows.

Jisoo kneels by them and hands Seungkwan the tissues, a small grimace of a smile on his face.

JISOO

Here, why don’t you take Seokmin over to the side and patch him up? Head back and pinching his nose until the bleeding stops, then ice it. 

SEUNGKWAN

M-me?

JEONGHAN

(dirtily)

Yeah, him?

Jisoo gives Jeonghan a meaningful glance then breaks off into a smile. 

JISOO

(playfully)

Don’t be upset just because you actually have to serve now.

JEONGHAN

Who said I’m upset, I’m not upset. Why are you letting him treat me like this Cheol-ah?

Seungcheol gives Jeonghan a deadpan look and roughly nudges him to stand with the tip of his shoes.

SEUNGCHEOL

Manager’s orders. Get on the other side of the net, we’re still training. 

(softer, towards Seungkwan and Seokmin)

Seungkwan-ah, help Seokmin up will you? It’s probably best you both sit out until the bleeding’s stopped at least.

Shamefaced, Seungkwan nods. Like walking on eggshells, he helps Seokmin keep the tissue - rapidly blooming crimson - in place, letting Seokmin hang over half of his body.

SEUNGKWAN

(dipping his head, cautious of Seokmin’s body on his)

I - I’m sorry for not listening to instructions. I’m willing to accept whatever discipline - 

SEUNGCHEOL

(waves him off)

It’s fine. Just… 

(he cracks a knowing smile, kind)

You know you don’t have to try so hard, right?. 

Seungkwan colours and stutters out his thanks, shuffling him and Seokmin off to the side where most of the club have dumped their bags. 

There’s a spare chair there that he sets Seokmin in, placing the ice and first aid kit on the floor as he gingerly swaps out Seokmin’s bloodied tissue with a new one, wincing all the way. 

SEUNGKWAN

Head back hyung.

Seokmin whimpers but follows his instructions, letting his head dangle upside down off the back of the chair. 

SEOKMIN

Sorry.

SEUNGKWAN

What are you sorry for? This was my fault!

SEOKMIN

That I didn’t receive properly…? 

SEUNGKWAN

It was a jumping float serve - it’s hard to receive in the first place! Why are you blaming yourself?

SEOKMIN

But I should be better at this by now! Even some of the first years are better than me… I guess this is a wake-up call if I don’t want to be moved to reserve. 

SEUNGKWAN

(a touch resentfully)

...Jeonghan hyung would never allow you to be in reserve.

SEOKMIN

Well _I’d_ know that I deserve to be in reserve and I’d ask to be moved.

(sighs)

It’s not enough to rely on hyung all the time - I know I started playing because of him but I really like it now. I want to get better, not just block all the time. 

SEUNGKWAN

When did you start liking it?

SEOKMIN

Um… last year? Hyung scammed me into it because I was one of his tallest dongsaengs. 

(he peeks over at Seungkwan, deep in scowl)

What about you?

SEUNGKWAN

I played it in highschool. Along with choir, of course.

SEOKMIN

(echoes)

Ah, of course. Still in choir?

SEUNGKWAN

(modestly)

Got a scholarship for it.

SEOKMIN

(startled laughter)

Oh? Congratulations - ah, can I get another tissue please..?

Seungkwan swaps the tissues out, tutting at Seokmin when he tries to hold it himself.

SEUNGKWAN

(nagging)

You’re not holding your nose tight enough - you’ll run through the whole box at this rate.

SEOKMIN

(adjusting his grip)

Like… Like this?

SEUNGKWAN

Like! 

He hesitates and gently bats Seokmin’s fingers away, complete contrast with his harsh nagging, holding the bridge of Seokmin’s nose himself. 

SEUNGKWAN

Like this.

SEOKMIN

(nasally)

Oh.

Seungkwan hesitates. A voice in the background - Seungcheol’s - yells at the team to _go go go_. Seungkwan bites his lip, jumps off the metaphorical ledge and swings his leg boldly over Seokmin’s thighs, straddling his lap.

SEUNGKWAN

(proactively defensive)

My wrist would cramp otherwise.

Seokmin’s eyes fly open at the weight of Seungkwan on him and it’s a tense moment when they’re both looking at each other, sizing each other up tenuously. 

SEOKMIN

(faintly)

O-oh… Okay.

Seungkwan smiles, small and pleased. It’s an unnaturally quiet five minutes, Seungkwan changing out the tissues as needed, growing less squeamish about the blood as he keeps at it. Eventually, the blood stops coming and the last tissue is pulled away, snow white. 

SEUNGKWAN

Let me look at you.

Seokmin goes pliant, letting Seungkwan fuss over him without complaint. He’s always been a bit of a pushover, he’ll blame it on that. Not the way that Seungkwan’s weight on him - warm, soft and achingly close - is making him entertain thoughts that stoke a fire in the lows of his stomach. He’s glad for the searing bruising pain if only to avoid any consequences that may come of his brain travelling places it has no warrant for. 

SEUNGKWAN  
You’re going to bruise real bad hyung, but I don’t think it’s broken or anything. I can call Jisoo hyung over if you want a second look.

Seungkwan starts clambering off Seokmin but Seokmin is grabbing for his wrist before he even realises it, eyes going wide.

SEOKMIN

Wait! No, it’s fine. Don’t um, don’t bother him. You can just stay with me right, Seungkwan-ah? Can uh, can you ice it for me?

Seungkwan casts him an unreadable look and the back of Seokmin’s knees are dripping sweat at an alarming rate. 

SEUNGKWAN

You really want me to?

SEOKMIN

Well… we can catch up! We haven’t had a chance to do that yet!

SEUNGKWAN

Whilst I sit on you and ice your nose?

SEOKMIN

(babbles, backtracking)

Well now you say it like that, it does sound pretty weird, huh? I just thought uh, since you’re here and I might not do it right but it’s okay if you don’t want to, just ignore me, you can just get Jeonghan hyung for me or Soonyoung hyung - he should be back from the bathroom by now - 

Seungkwan settles back decisively in Seokmin’s lap, wielding the ice in one hand. Seokmin shuts up. Seungkwan leans in, eyes tracing a bead of sweat running down Seokmin’s neck and below the neckline of his shirt. 

SEUNGKWAN

Hyung, it’s okay. I want to.

SEOKMIN

(nervous giggles)

O-oh, that’s nice, thank you Seungkwan-ah.

He hisses as the ice touches his skin, Seungkwan pressing it down carefully so the entire area is covered.

SEOKMIN

...So! Nice weather we’re having, huh?

SEUNGKWAN

(indulgent)

Yes hyung, very nice weather. 

(clears his throat)

I thought about this, you know?

SEOKMIN

Hitting me in the face with a serve?

Seungkwan smacks his arm in reflex and is immediately apologetic.

SEUNGKWAN

Oh my god, sorry sorry. I forgot. 

He grimaces and rubs Seokmin’s arm with his free hand, little circles over his bicep that are doing nothing to distract Seokmin from the No Good Very Bad Thoughts he’s having. 

SEUNGKWAN

(appreciatively)

Oh, hyung. You’ve been working out.

SEOKMIN

I - yeah. Volleyball! And also sometimes the gym when my roommate makes me go.

He shifts, eager to steer the subject back on track and away from where Seungkwan is just squeezing his bicep now, curious. Goosebumps prick up on the back of his neck.

SEOKMIN (CONT’D)

What did you think about?

SEUNGKWAN

Whether I might find you at SNU - you mentioned that you were thinking about it when you were taking _suneung_. 

SEOKMIN

Thinking about it, yeah. I still can’t believe I got grades high enough - my mum cried when we found out. 

(self-deprecating)

I thought I was going to have to get my degree _online_.*

SEUNGKWAN

(scoffs)

For all the stress you went through that year, you deserved every bit of it. You nearly studied yourself to death.

SEOKMIN

(uncharacteristically sober)

Felt like death too.

SEUNGKWAN

But you pulled through.

SEOKMIN

But I pulled through.

He looks down the length of his body at Seungkwan, smiling wobbly and soft.

SEOKMIN

I thought about what you said on that day, you know?

SEUNGKWAN

What are you talking about?

SEOKMIN

That my singing was a gift. And it’d be a waste if I didn’t use it.

(he looks off to the side, reflecting)

It made me think about how I could help other people with it, that even if I wasn’t satisfied with it, other people would like it. 

SEUNGKWAN

(taken aback)

Oh? You remembered it?

SEOKMIN

(hums, eyes dreamy)

Yeah well, I started singing at this nursing home in my neighbourhood. It got me out of my head during the stressful parts, there were so many sweet _halmeonis_ and _halabeojis_ who thanked me for keeping them company. It made me feel like I was _doing_ something, instead of just robotically cramming meaningless facts into my head. Like, what does that really _do_ right?

SEUNGKWAN

(heart aching)

 _Oh._ That’s so _good_ of you.

He hiccups, moisture coming to his eyes and Seokmin jolts upright in concern, setting a hand on Seungkwan’s waist to make sure he doesn’t fall off.

SEOKMIN

Are you okay?

SEUNGKWAN

(obstinately, wiping at his eyes furiously)

Yes, it’s _fine,_ I’m _fine._ You’re just so _nice_ and _good_ and - 

SEOKMIN

I’m really not! It’s just… it was just so I could sing again really. 

(sighs longingly)

I don’t know how I ever thought I could give it up. 

Seungkwan drapes his arm on Seokmin’s shoulder, re-adjusting the ice so that it’s sitting properly on Seokmin’s nose. 

SEUNGKWAN

So you’re studying Vocals here then?

SEOKMIN

(bashfully)

Education. There were just so many cute kids who came to see their grandparents and I just thought, well I could sing to them one day too, right?

Seungkwan makes a choked outraged noise and slaps Seokmin lightly on the back.

SEUNGKWAN

You can’t just - you can’t just say things like that.

SEOKMIN

...like what?

Seungkwan looks at him, all rabbit eyes and lovely cheeks. He pinkens, slackens his grip on Seokmin’s ice. There’s tension crackling in the air, on the verge of a spillover.

SEUNGKWAN

Things like - 

JEONGHAN

Seokmin-ah! Are you feeling better?

Behind Jeonghan are Jisoo and Seungcheol, flanking him like guards. The tension swirls down the drain, whatever that was poised on Seungkwan’s tongue swallowed back down. Seokmin feels the disappointment crash over him like an ocean, knows now what it means.

Seungkwan scrambles off him like he’s touched fire, at least continuing to hold the ice on Seokmin’s nose.

SEOKMIN

Much better - it’s not broken at least.

The three of them eye Seungkwan and Seokmin so knowingly it makes his skin crawl. Jeonghan, as much as a devil as he is merciful and soft on his favourites, lets him go this time without a word. There’s a look in his eye though, one that lets Seokmin know he’s not getting away that easily later.

Jisoo steps over, cupping Seokmin’s face in his and tilting it left and right clinically. In the upper corner of his vision, Seokmin sees Seungkwan’s eyes fixed firm on Jisoo the whole time. Remembering the interest Seungkwan had shown at the dinner, the disappointment hits him twice over, ocean dashing him against a rock. 

SEUNGCHEOL

Practice is over - I’ve sent the boys to the changing rooms. Do you want to get changed too or go home in your training clothes? Seungkwannie can stay behind with you and lock up if you’re getting changed. 

Seokmin groans as he rises out of the chair, taking over the ice from Seungkwan with a small smile.

SEOKMIN

Jeonghan hyung, are you going straight home?

JEONGHAN

Mmm.

SEOKMIN

Ah, then I’ll just go straight home, I think. 

(grimacing)

Better tell my mother sooner rather than later.

JEONGHAN

I’ll come with you and explain - she loves me more anyways

SEOKMIN

You just want to be fed!

JEONGHAN

(smirking)

Yeah, what’s mum making for dinner?

Good-natured bantering FADES OUT. Close-up on Seungkwan’s face, eye twitching slightly as Jeonghan and Seokmin make plans to go home together. 

SEUNGKWAN

(loudly)

Well, if that’s all I’m needed for, I’ll probably just head home too. 

SEOKMIN

Oh - get home safe! Do you want to walk - 

Seokmin freezes and takes a quick glance at Jeonghan, already smirking. Nope, not good, retreat - Seokmin’s not that stupid to let Jeonghan get the chance to get his claws into Seungkwan. 

SEOKMIN

Uhh… nevermind, actually. I’ll see you at the next practice?

Seungkwan’s frown deepens, doesn’t say anything before stalking out and Seokmin. Seokmin stares and wonders. 

* * *

EXTRA: in the BACKGROUND of the shot, Jisoo sidles up to Jeonghan and nudges him in the side. 

JISOO

Bets on when they get together?

JEONGHAN

The next club dinner.

JISOO

Okay, call. I bet on the final match of the season.

Seungcheol joins their huddle, listening with a frown.

SEUNGCHEOL

(disapproving)

I can’t believe you guys are making bets on Seokmin.

JISOO

(flatly)

You wanted to bet on the final match, didn’t you?

SEUNGCHEOL

(suddenly whiny)

It's not fair, you guys always choose first!

* * *

INT. NORAEBANG - ?

Inside the darkened rooms of the noraebang, it’s impossible to tell what time it is. Fifteen boys at least crowd a room that’s not nearly big enough for all of them. Green and blue as far as the eye can see - bottles of soju and cans of beer the topography. 

PAN across the crowd. Jisoo and Jeonghan leaning in on either side of Seungcheol, matching smirks as they convince him to chug another beer and pinch his cheeks when he whines. Jisoo leans over to whisper something in Jeonghan’s ear. The two giggle - Seungcheol contemplates escape. Soonyoung half-sitting in JEON WONWOO’s (22, bespectacled and enamoured) lap, a messy flirt if there ever was one, whilst Seungkwan tries his hardest to make conversation with him. Across the room, staring intensely at the catalogue of songs, our protagonist Lee Seokmin. 

The current song - TRESPASS by Monsta X - finishes. Score of 86.

KIM MINGYU descends the little platform with a little dance, elated at his score, and claps Seokmin on the back. The next song queued up comes on, a familiar and comforting introduction - IT’S OKAY by BTOB. In the corner, Seungcheol bolts up excitedly and runs for the mic, searching around the room for Wonwoo and dragging him up to sing with him. Soonyoung, dislodged, pouts sulkily and Seungkwan gives up on the conversation altogether.

MINGYU

What do you want?

SEOKMIN

I don’t know yet… A ballad would be too boring right?

Mingyu looks over his shoulder pointedly at Seungcheol and Wonwoo, arms around each other, crooning along to the song like _ahjussis._

MINGYU

You tell me.

SEOKMIN

It’s okay, I sing ballads a lot anyways. I gotta sing something that fits the mood! Bring up the tension!

MINGYU

What about…

Seungkwan hooks his chin on Seokmin’s shoulder, making him let out a little scream. The catalogue pages flip with the sudden movement, landing on…

MINGYU

Oh here! What about My Ear’s Candy!

SEOKMIN

What, you want to sing it with me? It’s a duet.

MINGYU

(grimacing)

No thank you, I can’t really feel my voice after Trespass.

SEOKMIN

(cheekily)

Yeah, I’m pretty sure you were meant to be singing, not screaming the whole way. 

Mingyu shoves Seokmin, making him stumble a little. Warm hands support his back, keeping him in place. 

MINGYU

(insulted)

I got an 86, dickhead!

SEUNGKWAN

Yeah well, bet Seokmin can beat it!

MINGYU

He can _try._ Who’s going to sing with you Seokmin-ah?

Seungkwan sniffs, pushing past to plug in the catalogue number to queue it up next, shifting the ballads that Seungcheol was ostensibly responsible for downwards. 

SEUNGKWAN

I will - get ready for the best performance of your life, Kim Mingyu.

MINGYU

Mingyu _hyung_.

SEUNGKWAN

That’s what I said, Kim Mingyu.

SEOKMIN

Yeah, that’s what he said, Kim Mingyu!

Mingyu looks between the both of them in betrayal, crossing his arms and hunching in on himself sulkily. 

MINGYU

You guys are mean to me… When am _I_ gonna get a soulmate to back me up?

Seungkwan tips his head back in a laugh, giggles that make cider bubbles pop in Seokmin’s chest at the sound. A smile blossoms on his face in response like a flower opening under the warmth of the sun.

Over the speakers, the song is dying to a close. Seungcheol and Wonwoo hold the last note as long as they can - completely serious whilst everyone else giggles at their immersed expressions.

Hong Jinyoung pouts at them from the screen, aegyo crying face. 63. 

Seokmin jogs over to swoop the mics from his hyungs, patting them semi-apologetically as they return to their seats, Seungcheol throwing a hissy fit and Wonwoo quietly disappointed. 

SEOKMIN

(conspiratorially)

We gotta make this good, the tension is down.

Seungkwan sparkles at him, whipping out a necktie and a massive bow hairpiece from who knows where.

SEUNGKWAN

Already ahead of you.

He tiptoes - a movement small enough to make Seokmin feel soft and protective, warm all over like he’s slipped into a hot bath - and loops the tie around Seokmin’s neck. Seungkwan arranges the bow on his own head - it’s meant to be comedic, a parody of Minnie Mouse, but Seokmin just thinks he looks lovely. 

SEUNGKWAN

Is it straight? Why are you staring like that?

SEOKMIN

It looks pretty.

(looks Seungkwan straight in the eyes and smiles, big and honest)

You look pretty.

Seungkwan stumbles over laughter, rosied cheeks hidden in the darkness. 

SEUNGKWAN

Yah, what is your hyung going to think if you go around to all the boys saying that?

SEOKMIN

(brows crinkle)

Why do I care what hyung thinks?

SEUNGKWAN

Well, because - !

A female voice, backing vocals, drift seductively over the speakers. It gets everyone perked up - eyes all turned on them in interest. It’s hard to resist a classic, much less when it’s the two moodmakers about to show them all a good time.

SEOKMIN

Because?

And Seokmin likes that, likes making people happy and seeing them laugh, with him or at him. In this moment though, he wishes he could shrug the burden off. Say _I can’t be the funny person today, try again tomorrow_ and drag Seungkwan away with him. There’s something momentous building between them, Seokmin knows it now, its shadow looming large under flirting too sincere to be friendly, under private practice sessions that turn into dinner that turn into convenience store ice creams and the Han river at night.

When Seungkwan’s mouth twists - torn between Seokmin and the stage - Seokmin sees the same recognition in him too because it’s an honour that he’s even competition. 

SEUNGKWAN

(quickly)

Later. 

(to the room)

Hello! Is everyone ready to have fun!

He breaks away from Seokmin, rounding up the room in a tornado of energy and Seokmin pitches in, bouncing excitedly to get people to groove along with them.

SEOKMIN

Let’s hear you scream!

The room goes up in a wall of cheers and whoops, Seokmin and Seungkwan feeding on the enthusiasm greedily. They work the crowd more, spinning their way dramatically on the small platform and leaning back to back, just in time for Seokmin to growl out the start to the song. 

SEOKMIN

_What are the words you want to hear, tell me_

Seungkwan bats his lashes coyly, juts a hip out and sings in Baek Jiyoung’s original fucking key, so confident it makes Seokmin go weak at the knees.

SEUNGKWAN

_No matter what you say to me, I’ll fly_

Seokmin swallows, hands shaky, but he keeps up with Seungkwan’s pace. Tit-for-tat, he growls out his own lines, a sexy body roll with the tie held out at a forty-five degree angle for good measure. 

Soonyoung whoops extra-loud for that and Seokmin is just pleased that his hyung is so easy to entertain, inciting everyone else in the room to start hollering and clapping along. 

Seungkwan licks his lips and strides towards him, spinning him around by the shoulder and _grabbing_ his tie. He sashays backwards with it to the centre of the stage, leading Seokmin along with a wink that makes him feel like everything is collapsing around him to rubbles and ruin. 

SEUNGKWAN

_I’m shy but you know I want those words_

SEOKMIN

(croaking feebly)

_I love you_

SEUNGKWAN

_I love you_

SEOKMIN

(in english, backup vocals bleeding through)

_I love you_

SEUNGKWAN

(in english)

_I love you_

Seungkwan lets go of his tie in a flourish and Seokmin finally breathes a sigh of relief - only to choke in the middle of his line when Seungkwan fits himself against him, his back to Seokmin’s front, slinging one arm possessively around Seokmin’s neck.

He’s so so close. And _grinding_ against him.

Seokmin blinks feverishly and there’s a mic to his lips, Seungkwan’s.

SEUNGKWAN

(crooning)

_Wo ai ni_

SEOKMIN

(weakly)

_Wo ai ni_

SEUNGKWAN

_Te quiero_

SEOKMIN 

_Te quiero_

Seungkwan makes Seokmin spin him away and presses a dramatic kiss to the back of his hand, one that has the audacity to tingle in the wake of his lips, before breaking out into falsetto. 

Seokmin stands there, dazed, for a second before he shakes himself out of it and chimes in for his next few lines. Ignoring the way he’s starting to heat up all over, he pushes forward, echoing Seungkwan with cheesy winks at the audience and an exaggerated rasp to his voice that does nothing but make his throat ache. The crowd goes wilder though, yelling along and sloppily dancing with them for the chorus, so he figures it’s a small price to pay. 

The song winds down and Seungkwan twirls out, slut dropping as the final touch, his eyes, sober and steady, burning straight into Seokmin. 

Seokmin recognises it for what it is: a challenge. 

The familiarity of it settles into his bones, grounds him in place and everything shifts one centimetre over, clicking into place. The world spins around him - a parody of him, 16 and despairing under the cold fluorescent bathroom lights, thinking the gap between him and Seungkwan was insurmountable. Except this time he knows it’s different - it’s _okay_ if he fucks up this note, if he fucks up the song, if he fucks up full stop. 

Seokmin takes a few steps forward, hesitance building up momentum to confidence and surety. 

It’s even okay if he gets rejected. 

Seokmin’s fists clench, determined look plastered on his face. 

Rapid CLOSE UPS: Seokmin’s hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder, Seungkwan whipping around in surprise - adrenaline from the performance still lingering on his face, Seokmin’s fingers cradling the back of Seungkwan’s neck.

Seokmin’s face tilting in _oh so slow_. Seungkwan’s throat bobbing nervously, his eyes fluttering shut. Lips almost touching.

_A slap._

* * *

EXT. NORAEBANG - INDISCERNIBLE TIME

It’s cold, so cold one would shiver just by looking at the picture. Two boys - straddling that line of manhood now - huddle in an alcove near the entrance of a neon sign promising the existence of a noraebang and warmth if you step through its doors. Seokmin (21 and 9 months, long coat on but not nearly enough padding, faint outline of a handprint on his face) lets Seungkwan (20, shivering like a leaf but would proclaim to anyone passing that he’s as warm as can be) take his face in his gloved hands and gently tilt it to assess the damage in the light from the street.

CLOSE-UP. Seokmin, compliant but longing, eyes fixed solely on Seungkwan’s face. His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, face angling just enough to brush the curve of Seungkwan’s wrist with his lips.

CLOSE-UP. Seungkwan’s eyes swimming, lips pressed tight together in a bloodless line. He smooths his thumb over Seokmin’s cheek and we find fondness winning out, face softening imperceptibly. 

SEUNGKWAN

You should be okay. I didn’t hit you _that_ hard.

SEOKMIN

(jokingly)

I didn’t think you’d hit me at all.

Seungkwan bites down on the inside of his cheek, cutting his eyes away stubbornly like letting Seokmin look at him would strip him bare of his armor. 

SEUNGKWAN

You can’t just… _kiss_ people out of the blue.

SEOKMIN

If we’re being technical, I didn’t actually kiss you.

SEUNGKWAN

(testily)

No, you just leaned in really close and your mouth was right - right there!

SEOKMIN

...you didn’t want to then?

Seungkwan, with enough words to fight a thousand wars, is suddenly left with an emptied artillery.

SEUNGKWAN

(lost)

I… I didn’t say that.

SEOKMIN

Then what do you want?

SEUNGKWAN

(exasperated)

A lot of things. A radio show of my own, a job that pays enough to buy my mum and sisters a house each, to meet Beyonce - 

SEOKMIN

(pleadingly, a subdued request)

And me? Do you want me?

Seungkwan looks at him, lower lip trembling. Seokmin reaches out to catch him before the tears even start spilling over, pulling him into the warmth of his long coat and holding him there. Seungkwan’s always liked being the biggest presence in the room, makes himself known with cocky swagger and a tendency to pick fights. In his arms though, Seungkwan is the smallest he’s ever seen him. 

SEUNGKWAN

(muffled and snotty)

You? You’re _awful_ Lee Seokmin - I’ve liked you since forever, how _dare_ you say something like that!

Seokmin startles out a laugh, dabbing at Seungkwan’s tears with the sleeve of his coat. His eyes are glossy too, shining unnaturally bright. 

SEOKMIN

(choked up but warm, unbelievably careful and tender)

It’s _because_ I’ve liked you since forever, I can say something like that.

(quieter)

I want you Seungkwan-ah. I have for awhile.

SEUNGKWAN

I… I don’t know.

SEOKMIN

(hurt)

Why… why shouldn’t we try?

SEUNGKWAN

(laughs disbelievingly, pounding Seokmin’s chest with a tight fist)

 _Why_ ? I’m _scared_ , Lee Seokmin. What else is there to it? 

(he crumples, baby bird small)

What if we… what if we hurt each other? Like all the times before but a million times worse. 

SEOKMIN

But what if we don’t? What if we work out spectacularly and end up married with three kids and two dogs and we raise them on Wonder Girls and ballads. What then, Seungkwan-ah?

SEUNGKWAN

(laughs wetly)

Then I guess I kiss you.

Resistance overcome, Seungkwan tiptoes just the tiniest bit and brushes his mouth against Seokmin in a chaste closed-mouth kiss. They pull apart, slack-jawed and awe-struck, staring wondrous. 

Seungkwan sucks in a deep breath, looks both ways on the street and smiles, tiny and wanting, and backs Seokmin further into the alleyway for a deeper hungrier kiss. 

SILENT MONTAGE: Seokmin and Seungkwan coming back into the noraebang holding hands, everyone clapping for them. Jeonghan and Jisoo reluctantly handing bills over to Seungcheol who’s elated. Wonwoo backhugging Soonyoung, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Mingyu looking at the new couple wistfully and then to his phone that proclaims he has a “New Match!” on a dating app - SEO MYUNGHO.

SEOKMIN (V.O.)

Seungkwan was my youth - the best and worst of all my growing pains. Whether we ended up together - three kids, two dogs and all - isn’t the important thing here. Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t.

Maybe we split up at some point during university, carved up our friend group so bad I never talked to Soonyoung again and spent the rest of my life wondering what I could’ve done to fix it. Maybe I ended up dating someone else, someone that didn’t take his place in my heart but gave me someone else to find home in. Maybe I would’ve run into Seungkwan someday, both our hearts held by someone else now, and we would look at each other and feel nothing but gratefulness for our best parts together.

Maybe we stayed together through it all and I proposed on our anniversary one day, calm even though I had hyperventilated about our dog eating it the day before, before I found it in the pocket of my nice blazer. Maybe we did a duet at our wedding and made everyone else cry too much to taste the cake we spent too much money on, maybe I bounced our oldest daughter up and down and pointed to the television _there’s your daddy, isn’t he handsome_ , maybe he’d get me to sing _Blue Whale_ to her every night as she fell asleep and kiss me over and over until I did too. 

It doesn’t matter.

Whatever future that would come, Seungkwan made me appreciate what has already passed. I know now that growing up doesn’t stop things hurting, just helps you fear it less. 

(firmly but still with childish innocence)

And whatever comes our way, I’m not scared of it. 

END SHOT: Seokmin and Seungkwan’s hands locked together, fingers intertwined and curling into each other like tender vines as their group heads out of the noraebang into the infinite night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *please note that i'm not saying that getting your degree online is a bad thing - according to my research, online degrees are regarded very poorly in skr and online colleges are basically degree mining farms. the method with which you get your education does not matter at all.

**Author's Note:**

> *please note that i'm not saying that getting your degree online is a bad thing - according to my research, online degrees are regarded very poorly in skr and online colleges are basically degree mining farms. this doesnt of course necessarily reflect the reality and the method with which you get your education does not matter at all !!
> 
> @ any actual screenwriters, i apologise if this doesn't actually fit the conventions of a screenplay !!! i've just appropriated elements that fit for this fic !!
> 
> if you enjoyed, please leave me a kudos and or comments <333


End file.
